In my darkest days of feeling worthless I look to my boys.
These two keep me going
I have neglected this blog for a while. Yes, there have been a few pictures here and there but overall nothing of substance.
There is part of me that just doesn’t feel like writing, heck I can’t even seem to want to write in my LJ most of the times these days.
There is stuff swirling around in my noggin but trying to get it written out is hard.
I think the bulk of my problem is I feel like I did about this time last year.
Just feeling overwhelmed again with life, mostly work and Sam’s appointments. Being this is not a locked up blog we will skip the work talk.
So Sam’s appointments and such, I am just tired of going. I shouldn’t be tired as he needs them. They are important and they help him but somedays it’s hard to keep up with going to them and then off to work or work and then trying to get to them.
I know it could be worse so I shouldn’t complain. I am trying not to but PT once a week, OT once a week, speech once a week and then early intervention once a week as well. Juggling that with work and trying to have family time and me time. It’s hard and exhausting…
Thus being overwhelmed and for some reason I am back to feeling like I am waiting for the other shoe to drop with Sam. Maybe it’s due to the genetics testing and not having results yet. I don’t know.
He’s doing good in therapy and I am always so happy seeing that progress. However in the back of my head, I feel so anxious that something is going to come by and crush that feeling.
I have been trying to take vitamin D and fish oil to help with some of the anxiety and depression like feelings. I took that combo after I had Baz to help with some baby blues and it seemed to work then but I don’t feel like it’s working now. I have my yearly girly examine today so I will be chatting with the doc about that.
So, that’s how things are here.
Hopefully I can attempt to get some more writing out soon.
A friend of mine is doing a Scentsy party and donating her commission to my team.
If you visit the link and go to party walk time you can order
So life has been crazy and I have lacked any motivation to write. I have lacked anything to really write about as well.
I have been to 2 funerals recently, I should say more memorials I guess then funerals. They tend to get me thinking a lot.
The first one was for a convention friend, it was a moving memorial. Who would think a memorial at a sci fi convention could be so moving? I cried and was a blithering mess after the first person spoke.
The 2nd one was for my aunt. I didn’t cry and I was told how I look good. Crazy thing, I wish I could be happy hearing that. I am not because I don’t look good because of any sort of wonderful workout or diet. Nope, I totally went with the unhealthy way, stress and running myself crazy ragged.
They both got me thinking about how I need to be better with keeping in touch with people. Also that I should work on making amends with the family.
I also went to a convention which I had a bit of a light bulb moment. I think I am done with them. The two I go to here, they have changed a lot and just not the same for me. Then of course the kiddos make it complicated.